Fountain of My Life
31 October 2009
A fountain can be a beautiful reflection of a tranquil scene, such as when an ornate castle is reflected in a large pool with a singe spray of water, or a fountain is designed so the statues are placed in the center and the surface of the water becomes a  riot of cascading water where nothing is reflected and all is in motion.  I realize it is much the same in my interior life.  The Psalmist tells us in Psalm 36 that God's love and faithfulness reach the heavens and the sky, that He is the fountain of our lives... and so I see this picture of my heart as a fountain where God's love and faithfulness are the center and they reach to the sky!  The other way to see my life is to see all the players in my life- all the important people and things (like the statues of the Greek gods)  at  the center and the fountain of my life tries to flow through all these statues and, while it is beautiful, it is hardly ever restful and never brings a reflection.
God seems to be saying to me, "I want you to know that deep inside you is a spring of living water, a source, and it will never run dry.  There is always enough of you because there is more than enough of Me.  I am the fountain of your life and you need to draw a wide circle in your heart and know that I Am.  I Am the well of living water, I Am the Way I Am the Truth and I Am the Life.  I Am your shield, I Am your Provider, I Am your Source."
  Deep inside me is a well, filled with living water, but God must be the center. Sometimes the people , the relationships, the things in my life , the children, the achievements, these fall into the center- I never mean them to, but they crowd God out.  In my interior life I have to be able to have a boundary.  I can sing "In God Alone," but in reality my life reflects in God alone and my child's salvation, in God alone and my husband's happiness, in God alone and my friend's approval.  You see, what belongs on the outside of the fountain comes crashing in and I do not have the spiritual eyes to see that my life has become, rather than a reflection of the fountain in my heart, a chaotic, wild cascade of water.  When I place the people and things of my life outside myself and God then the fountain of my heart is flowing and all that is in my life is showered with God's love and faithfulness.  When the people and things of my life are the center of my life I struggle to love and live because that source runs dry.  They are never enough.  Children grow, husbands change, friends move, jobs don't satisfy.  Only One thing satisfies and that is God's love and faithfulness at  the core of my being.
Can you picture your heart and ask God, "Where is my source? Who is at the center of my heart?  What events, people, past or present dominate my interior life?"  God will show you.  God can be the fountain of your life.  A fountain free to flow and shower grace and mercy, love and faithfulness over all the areas of your life.  Ask God to show you whether there isn't someone or something, past or present, that is blocking your fountain and ask Him by the power of His Holy Spirit to show you and remove it.  It might mean letting go, rearranging priorities, changing friends, forgiving those who have hurt us.  Our life is meant to be life giving!  As the Presence of God lives in us we are filled and His love and faithfulness are showered on all that comes into our lives, but when people or events or things become our life, then the fountain is stagnant and runs dry. 
I wonder what the fountain of your heart looks like.  I wonder if your fountain has run dry-  if it has ask God to fill you.   St. John Chrysostom challenges us to look at the fountain of our life as a fountain of cheerfulness!   Listen to what he writes:  "He who rejoices "in the Lord" can not be deprived of the pleasures by anything that may happen... the man who fears God as he ought , and trusts in Him, gathers from the very root of pleasure and has possession of a whole fountain of cheerfulness."  St, John Chrysostom Concerning the Statutes Homily XVIII.6; NPNF 9,460